((

miss congeniality contest today
got into the finals!!
thanks to the great help
frm su ann, veronica, dionne and qin yi

just talked to dory
well
i realize that netballers
are disappointed in me
yes
i did know that it would be part
of the consequence
when i wanted to join club
still
it's not a matter
of "want" or "don't want"
it's a matter of
"can" or "cannot"

i still have the passion for netball
i really do
really
but can you try to understand
the feeling i feel now?
i know all of you have gone through it
i have no excuse
still
can you try to understand
the pressure i am going through
i have to live up to my parent's expectations
and to my own

when i have a family with 2 sisters
i can't help comparing myself
and when i do
i feel ashamed
absolutely ashamed
i look down on myself
when i see them
all because
of a simple PSLE score

i know
i should try not to compare
but how can i not?
everyday
when i see my sisters
i am constantly reminded
of how they have succeeded

when i was p6
i really thought
i would be like my sisters
i really admired them
unfortunately
my sisters' success
made me think
that without working hard
i could end up like them
obviously
that wasn't the case

can you please
try to understand
even though it is my dad
who is constantly telling me to join club
i think i realize
i have been neglecting my studies too

i don't want history to repeat itself
i really don't
i want to feel
proud of myself
i want to do well
i want
and need
to achieve my goal

though netball is
and will always be
an important part of me
my goals are still
that factor which drives me in life
and i want to achieve them

maybe you will say
that netball can bring me to
a good jc
but the thing is
i don't want my cca to put me in a good school
i want my own effort in my work
to bring me to one

i wasn't there when mrs tng talked
maybe i don't know
the atmosphere and emotions when she talked
but i know
i have made up my mind

all i can say
to those that i have disappointed
is that
i'm sorry
really
i am

>> 9:01 PM;

renee 160991 netball
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clique:)
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